Goddess Diaries

My new BFF

2010-08-30T04:01:00.000-07:00

My ego was tested last night as I found myself dining alone in a busy taverna in Heraklion, Crete. I wanted to dine at "Ligo Krasi, Ligo Thalassa" as I had loved the food and the authentic atsmosphere when my friend took me there last year; only this time I was dining alone. I noticed I was the subject of the familiar Greek "stare" as I approached the waiter and said "Would you happen to have a table for one?". Seated diners were looking at me as if I was a phenomenon. I felt a wave of insecurity that I quickly made sure to brush off by my determination to enjoy my night out.

After about 10 minutes I was seated at my table. And what was intended to be a simple dinner - turned out to be an epiphany.

As soon as I was seated, I realized that it wasn't the people that cared all that much about me dining alone. It was me. I suddenly found myself in a setting that I've normally enjoyed with company. I didn't know what to do with myself and the "ego"-me desperately wanted to feel safe. I quickly reached for my i-phone to see if I had wifi so that I could look busy and preoccupied. Wifi failed me and I was stuck with... ME

My ego was screaming to be "normal" and my true self was screaming "what IS normal?". Why are we so used to NOT spending quality time with ourselves and we constantly try to replace the "me" time with distractions? Be it the phone, a book or anything so that we direct our attention "outwards" and away from ourselves, we are not used to enjoying our own company. So I had an "aha" moment. I was left with little to distract me from myself so I figured I'd make the best of it and laughed at myself for being so uptight. I calmed my mind, I had a sip of ouzo... ate some bread. Good bread. I noticed the orange moon. The stray dog marking his territory. Soon I realized that I was having the best date night ever! I would notice funny things and laugh - I didn't even need anybody to get my jokes - I laughed at everyone of them. I was hilarious and witty.

What it all boils down to is that we try too hard to see ourselves through the eyes of others. When did you last see yourself through your OWN eyes? I guarantee you will love what you see. Your own company is the perfect company. And test it out - if you find that you are judging yourself and thinking negative things, sit back and pay attention to what you are saying to yourself, is it truly what you feel or is it what you THINK you should be feeling about yourself? You are great, and you are your own BFF.

More Reiki More Love More Life

2010-04-04T21:23:00.000-07:00

I am so pleased to have manifested more time in my schedule for Reiki Teaching and clients. Every month now I offer classes and have designated days for treatments and I am so grateful for the amazing people that cross my path through the Reiki connection!

For updated class schedules I have now uploaded my google calendar on my website.

Marathonas

2009-11-19T00:58:00.000-08:00

The name of the athletic long-distance endurance race, the "marathon", comes from the legend of Pheidippides, a Greek soldier, who was sent from the town of Marathon to Athens to announce that the Persians had been miraculously defeated in the Battle of Marathon. It is said that he ran the entire distance without stopping, but moments after proclaiming his message "Nenikekamen" ("We were victorious!") to the city, he collapsed dead from exhaustion. (copied from Wikipedia)

In five months from now I intend to roar out "Nenikekamen" for my personal victory of reaching my new fitness goal. I, Tania Bakas, am going to run the Half Marathon of the BMO Vancouver Marathon on May 2, 2010! A 21.1 km run!

This is by far the most outrageous statement I have ever made in writing and I'm writing it publicly because I intend to stick to it.

All my life I flaunted the negative statement of "I hate running" which turned into "I can't run" and "I don't run" all because of a silly incident in Junior High School (back in Greece). One day it hit me that I've been living with this self imposed "limitation" and I thought to myself... wouldn't it be interesting to try and "break" this mental block by challenging it? What if I CAN RUN, what if I just TRIED?

And I did.

The first thing that happened was ugly: I felt all the same emotions that I felt back then when I was only 12 or 13... a feeling of shame and insecurity... a sad feeling of not being good enough... simply because some other kids had teased me back then - and every time my foot landed on the ground and I felt the weight of my body against the Earth I became that twelve year old again.

I was in for a huge mental/emotional challenge. How could I retrain my 33 year old brain to let go of this limitation I've grown to depend on over the past 20 years?

Every day is hard - I get on that treadmill fearing that the "past" might yank me off my feet and back onto my couch, curled up in self pity.

But every day something special happens. I feel stronger, I feel better, I sleep better and now that I think of it... I'm not as moody as I've been in the past... oh! and look! I have to pull my jeans up every five minutes! My friends are commenting on this glow on my face - how does my skin look so healthy?
Every day I go for a bit longer... and on the odd day that I'm too tired from work - I allow myself to slow it down to a power walk... the key is to not feel guilty and listen to that body!!!
I'm up to 1.5 miles on the treadmill... surely I can reach that half marathon mark in five months. I can visualize it now.

I'm doing this for my body, my mind and my soul... overcoming limitations... one step at a time :)

Love, Tania

Inspired!

2009-07-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

I recently went to visit Greece. I had forgotten what it is like to pick your food from a tree and eat eggs that were just layed by the feisty chicken poking around the backyard.

There was a hint of goat maneur in the air and it didn't bother me a bit. I went to different places in Greece but one thing remained constant; a feeling of true connection to source. I felt at home. Reiki flowed through my body and out my hands continually and I could feel a bubble of buzzing love surrounding me.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

2008-02-18T14:25:00.000-08:00

It's been a while my sweet little blog space!

So I'm back and in a very positive mental space. The past few months have been challenging!

I am happy to say that I am doing reiki again regularly and I couldn't be happier. For the past few months I had dedicated all my time and efforts to the family business. It was a great learning experience, a marathon challenge for my mental stability and well-being yet professionally rewarding.

There comes a time however where my inner calling always resurfaces and gives me a nudge - taunting me to find a few moments of inner peace doing what I love most: Healing work.

I recently participated in two Health Shows, one in the Vancouver Wellness Show and the other in the Calgary Health Show. The Canadian Reiki Association had a booth in both shows and was blessed with the presence of many generous Reiki volunteers. The energy was flowing and our booths were illuminated, drawing in attendees in awe...

I am so grateful for my returning clients and new clients that have entered my world - working with them has been healing for myself as well and it's great to be part of another person's healing journey.

Now looking forward to the Annual General Meeting of the Canadian Reiki Association, taking place in Oakville, ON this May 2008! www.reiki.ca

Spring is just around the corner and I have a feeling this year is going to be a fruitful one :)

Sending love and light to all...

Hope to be back here soon!

Tania

Mirror of the Day

2007-01-09T21:54:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned "mirrors" in a previous post. I am always interested to see what I will learn about myself through new clients that come for Reiki or Reflexology. What will they "mirror" for me? And with every client comes a little "nudge". A sign that pops up to remind me of something I may have neglected or to reinforce an idea that has been on my mind. Today I had a delightful encounter with a new Reiki client, a young lady that is currently in the midst of worldly travels, Vancouver being one of her stops. I listened to her speak of her travels like a wide eyed girl listening to her favourite fairy tale. Our visit lasted for four hours, yet I was certain she was there for about two hours - but I guess time flew by before I knew it!

I realized that travelling has been on the backburner for me all my life - feeling like I would never have the funds or that certain places are just too far (too far? what was I thinking? isn't time and space an illusion anyway?) - lately I've been discussing and planning future trips and today's conversation really brought my plans back into the spotlight.

My friends, watch me - in the next couple of years I'll be fulfilling my travel plans!

And much gratitude extended to the vibrant young lady that reminded me that it's all within reach and so real! Just intend for it and it will unfold!

The Journey Towards becoming a full time healer

2006-12-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

I wrote this article for the Canadian Reiki Association newsletter. It appeared in the October 2006 issue.
Click on the title to link to the document.

Mirror of the day

2006-12-28T16:37:00.000-08:00

Shakti Gawain talks about mirrors in our lives in "Living in the Light" - situations that we live in, events that happen, people in our lives - are all a mirror of our inner "state". When we change our focus "inside" then our "outside" conditions will change also.
It's so easy to get caught up in a negative cycle when unwanted events occur or significant people in our lives aren't quite dealing with life as positively as we would hope for them. We feel that all this outside chaos is completely out of our control and we are victims of it all. We feel helpless, and the negative thinking pump gets going rapidly. Once that "pump" gains momentum it can be hard to stop it, let alone slow it down!
I personally have been dealing with "people not thinking positively" issues. I am fully aware that I cannot control what other people say, do or think. I know that I cannot take other people's actions personally. It's not about me. Yet, I noticed that several of the most important people in my life have been going through a very rough emotional period and I want to help, I want to heal them, relieve them of their pain. I try and try but often without any positive result - after all, I can offer help, but if the person is not ready to receive it, it's out of my hands... So I trust that when they are ready - they will come to me, if they choose to, and that's OK.
So is doesn't sound so bad, right? I don't take it personally, I do the good deed and offer my help, I send them loving thoughts... what IS my problem?
What if all these things are a reflection of what's inside? I have always believed that every person in my life is there to show me a side of myself. Perhaps these people are all dealing with similar emotional issues because I haven't resolved my own?
So I looked "inside" and saw... I saw pain I never dared to deal with, depressing thoughts that have lingered since childhood and always resurfaced at unexpected times, and the recurring "down" feeling.
Perhaps if I attempt to nurture the wounded "inside" I just might have a direct effect on the "outside". I'm looking forward to seeing how it all unfolds... I will keep you posted...

Welcome to my blog!

2006-12-28T13:51:00.000-08:00

I look forward to posting my thoughts and I hope my "diaries" to be insightful, if anything entertaining!

I invite you to return soon...

Love & Light to All!

Tania