My new BFF

My ego was tested last night as I found myself dining alone in a busy taverna in Heraklion, Crete. I wanted to dine at "Ligo Krasi, Ligo Thalassa" as I had loved the food and the authentic atsmosphere when my friend took me there last year; only this time I was dining alone. I noticed I was the subject of the familiar Greek "stare" as I approached the waiter and said "Would you happen to have a table for one?". Seated diners were looking at me as if I was a phenomenon. I felt a wave of insecurity that I quickly made sure to brush off by my determination to enjoy my night out.

After about 10 minutes I was seated at my table. And what was intended to be a simple dinner - turned out to be an epiphany.

As soon as I was seated, I realized that it wasn't the people that cared all that much about me dining alone. It was me. I suddenly found myself in a setting that I've normally enjoyed with company. I didn't know what to do with myself and the "ego"-me desperately wanted to feel safe. I quickly reached for my i-phone to see if I had wifi so that I could look busy and preoccupied. Wifi failed me and I was stuck with... ME

My ego was screaming to be "normal" and my true self was screaming "what IS normal?". Why are we so used to NOT spending quality time with ourselves and we constantly try to replace the "me" time with distractions? Be it the phone, a book or anything so that we direct our attention "outwards" and away from ourselves, we are not used to enjoying our own company. So I had an "aha" moment. I was left with little to distract me from myself so I figured I'd make the best of it and laughed at myself for being so uptight. I calmed my mind, I had a sip of ouzo... ate some bread. Good bread. I noticed the orange moon. The stray dog marking his territory. Soon I realized that I was having the best date night ever! I would notice funny things and laugh - I didn't even need anybody to get my jokes - I laughed at everyone of them. I was hilarious and witty.

What it all boils down to is that we try too hard to see ourselves through the eyes of others. When did you last see yourself through your OWN eyes? I guarantee you will love what you see. Your own company is the perfect company. And test it out - if you find that you are judging yourself and thinking negative things, sit back and pay attention to what you are saying to yourself, is it truly what you feel or is it what you THINK you should be feeling about yourself? You are great, and you are your own BFF.